While I won't be so egotistical to still assume I have any avid readers at all, if by some sort of miracle of a chance you still do exist, and want to see the comedy stylings of myself and others, it would be in your best interest to know that me and some friends have started up a real website (as in an actual .com and all that).






The Restraining Order. A website jointly authored by myself, apoplecticfittz, roter_terror, rabidglow, eagon, and evilweevil2029!


COMICS!

PIZZA JOKES!

THIS GEM!!

Q & A

Q: Does this mean you'll never use LJ again?
A: Not at all! I just won't post, but I'll still comment on other's blogs.


Q: What is your role on the site?
A: Currently, I do a few articles, and I'm the head graphic designer and web designer.


Q: Can users make accounts and comment on your site?
A: Yes! You can also comment without an account!



Q: What can we expect from the site in the future?
A: More articles, better designs, more videos, comics, and fun! Feel free to make suggestions on the site, even!


For anyone who DOES still read this site, please be sure to check it out. Tell them (i.e. me) I sent ya! If you use iGoogle or the Google Reader, you can also add our RSS feed by clicking the following button

A "formula" to deduce just how deviant/skanky a person is.
Here's how it works:

Times you've been photographed nude by yourself +
Times you've been photographed nude by someone else +
Times you've had intercourse +
Times you've had non-intercoursal sexual relations +
Amount of people you've kissed in a relationship kind of way +
Amount of people you've had sex with

x

(
the amount of people you've had sex with at once:
x
the amount of genders you've had sex with
)

+

(Average times you masturbate a month x 12)

-
(Average amount of sexually naughty thoughts that do not lead to masturbation, or sexual action of any kind a month x 12)

Or


py + po + in + noi + k + s x (O x G) + (M x 12) - (T x 12)


To sum it up, a pretty skanky, but not porn star skanky, person would probably be around 300. But someone like me is a -430!

How DO you fare!?

Calculating it, a really hardcore hard worked porn actor would be about a 5,000 on the score chart :x But that's if you participate in hundreds-of-people gang-bangs :x!
Someone who married their "one love" or whatever, would, statistically avoiding any possible "deviance", would be a 3.
Same scenario, no relationship. Say.. a pure monk, or whatever, would be, naturally, a 0.

A virgin who masturbates 10 times a day, and thinks lots of naughty thoughts (about 40 a day or so!) would be a -14,600. Prolly a porn addict of some sort!


Update
A revamped, but unofficial version I've configured to factor in a change in lifestyle, repentance, or something of the sort. Regretting your heathen ways and such.

py + po + in + noi + k + s x (O x G) + (M x 12) - (T x 12) + (Ct x 100) - (R x 15)

Where C is the amount of sexual relations you've had with different people within the last 6 months outside of a committed relationship, and R is for the amount of regrets/lessons learned/things you wish you hadn't done/won't repeat in your sexual life. (i.e. Dang! I shouldn't have fucked that soccer team!" and "Dang! I shouldn't have fucked the chess team!" and "Dang, I was such a whore!" would be the total members of those two groups (Let's say 10 and 10) and the final whore regret would be one general regret. So that'd be 21 regrets x 15.

Naturally, the CT factor has a higher number because of an actively knowledgeable slut is worse than a past one who regrets it!

Update 2
I should also note that if you're "Seriously" bisexual, and not doing it for "fun", you should leave genders you've had relations with as "1", same with pansexuals, and others who may view gender as "equal". The same goes with being homosexual. If you're genuinely a part of that demographic, and not just changing your specifications just because you like that "Kind of diddlin" better. (There's a difference, believe me! Some people are just whores!)

Update 3
Should also be added that if you've done some of these so much, that you can't even remember how many times, you probably should either guess, or if you can't guess, just put 4,500. Shame on you.

Update 4
Another addition I just thought of!
py + po + in + noi + k + s x (O x G) + (M x 12) - (T x 12) + (Ct x 100) - (R x 15) x nS


where nS stands for Number of STD's you've had/have.

After a long bout without sleep, I drew this this morning:

Yep!

So, my good ol' pal showed me this etsy lady's webpage and on her page, I noticed she was whining about copycats.
Ha.

So, I sent this lady a message:

Well, of course you have copycats, because you charge outrageous prices. You're making a huge markup considering the costs of materials. Sure, you can defend yourself by saying "Oh, it takes time for me to make profits off of other company's ideas and characters!" or whatever. But, dude, you're making QUITE a huge markup, and I think it shows a general sign of conceitedness, a sign of one being full of themselves, to charge such high markups for their works, be it someone making clothing, gourmet food, whatever. You're one of these people. You should be gravely ashamed of yourself. Yes, you have to make a profit, but I highly, I mean, HIGHLY doubt it costs you $150 in materials to make a scarf, not to mention the fact you're complaining about knockoffs, when you yourself are using copyrighted materials created by others to profit for yourself. May grave shame fall upon you. But it probably won't. Because you're making that sweet profit. Enjoy it! You don't deserve it.

No response yet to my tirade of Red Fury. Will be updated if there is such!

RAGE POST

13. People who say "Grind my gears". We get it. You watch Family Guy. Now please, do us a favor and go fucking shoot yourself.
12. The word "hella". That is a word only west coasters (i.e. monsters) and idiots use.
11. Anyone who says "Japanimation". What the fuck are you, from 1993?
10. People who live in a bubble of nothing but Simpsons quotes. You know who you are.
9. Hipsters, the English, West Coast Liberals, and everyone in New York. You're not even people. Hell, the British pretty much are a very elaborate form of evolved rats.
8. People who love to play Texas Hold Em. What the hell?
7. Nu-Metal. Or, as the professionals call it "Fag Plastic".
6. Text messaging. Never before has a more pointless technology ever existed. You could just call someone, it'd be quicker, easier, and make sense. But no. Here. Here's a text message to your phone, from my phone. Enjoy the AWESUM INCONVENIENCEZ!
5. Big dogs. Why would anyone want a pet that could fucking kill them AND have as big or bigger shit than themselves? I'm sure there should be some sort of law against that.
4. People who like spiders. Or, as I like to call them "Devil worshippers". You people aren't right. YOU ARE NOT RIGHT.
3. Going back to the topic of Family Guy. I hate Family Guy. Stop watching this.
2. Queens of the Stone Age, Guns 'N Roses, Coheed and Cambria, Dream Theater, and other shit that people shouldn't like. NO.
1. Lastly, I hate fucking "scary" movies. I mean, like.. Saw and shit. Or whatever movie-with-someone-somewhere-in-danger-with-poor-acting-trying-to-get-away. You know, unscary shit made for erect teen boys and stupid teen girls. Why can't someone make scary movies anymore? Those should end with the producers of that film, locked in a room, crying, because their children just died in a car fire.

otimus I'm 'bout to blog
eagon: I'm about to go to the bathroom.
eagon: We're both creators!

NEVER FORGET.

Hey KIDS! Wanna be COOOOOL? Well, if you want to be COOL and HIP WITH IT, you'll do the FOLLOWING RAD AWESOME THING.
I have made a comic, but without words! No words at all! Not even a single word... and I want YOU to fill it out, and respond to this post with it!
Here's the comic:






here are some I did myself:








and here's one by apoplecticfittz

My 'Rock Band' band

Iron Force Soul Crusher